I sleep through morning workshop ..and breakfast too. I stop by the kitchen and prepare a bowl of yogurt and granola ~ I’m sitting in the lodge, writing, when I suddenly feel overcome with fear ..it’s almost noon and the workshop members will be arriving soon. Afraid that they’ll think I’m a slacker ..I get up to leave ..but it’s too late, they’re already here and the instructor is bearing down on me like a hawk ~ I panic ..scramble for an excuse ..and blurt out something like “I’m still adjusting to Esalen time” ..immediately realizing what a bullshit statement that was. When the adrenaline fades ..I see him more clearly (first principle) ~ he’s just walking by ~ smiling from ear to ear ~ gently saying “Good morning Lee” ~ and it occurs to me that he wasn’t looking for an explanation at all ..but I was too busy looking for one to see that.
Arrival: Weather reports inform me that I’m heading into a storm ~ it’s already reached the coast of Monterey and moving toward Big Sur fast ~ I need fortification now ~ I stop at a subway shop in San Luis Obispo and instruct the preparer how to make my usual spinach and avocado salad ~ and put it inside an Italian roll ~ he thanks me and says that he’s never made one like that before ~ I put the top up on the alfa and inch my way to Big Sur ~ on a winding mountain road ~ in the fog and rain ~ on a pitch-black night ~ with the ocean moving hundreds of feet below. I’m scared shitless.