Because I am trying to speak from the first person, from my experience, let me just say a few words about how this article affected me.

After reading this article, I began to think of my own heavily programmed life. Growing up, there were clear instructions on what to do, and what not to do. Even though there was no conscious attempt to destroy a human spirit on the part of my father, in many ways, I believe, largely unbeknownst to him, he created his own version of a "Manchurian Candidate" in me. Or I allowed this, somehow, to happen.

There are several moments that I remember, quite distinctly, in which the punishment-to-the-point-of-dissociation occurred. By comparison to what these ritual abuse survivors may have suffered, my own suffering pales in comparison. I was never, to my recollection, ever physically struck. And my father, is a deeply caring human being. Nevertheless.

A moment that stands out for me, somehow, is this: I am probably six or seven and my father is trying to teach me mathematics that is two grades beyond my comprehension. And I simply cannot get the answers. I'm trying my best, but I do not understand what is going on. As punishment, I am simply asked to stand against the wall and just stay there, in stillness, for 10 minutes, or so, and to think about my wrongdoings -- because I had not been able to answer the math problems correctly.

My father wanted me to stand there, for maybe 10 minutes, as punishment for not knowing the answers, not being able to do the questions. So I stood -- rigid and still. And I remember him leaving the basement, and then coming back after 10 minutes, and telling me that I did not have to stand against the wall anymore.

But I would not stop standing. And he came back after 20 minutes and told me not to stand against the wall anymore. But I would not move.

Twenty minutes became 30 minutes became an hour -- losing track of time.

I do not remember how long I stayed there, in total. But it was a stretch of time, that as I think of it now, seemed completely representative of something deeply unresolved and painful, still yet to find its way out.

When I went home for Christmas, just a few days ago, I went back down to the basement, stood in that same spot -- and tried to feel, now, what I could not feel then -- the shame, the terror, the fear -- and with it, somehow, mixed in there was also, defiance and love. Taking back the moment, somehow. "Owning it" and those parts of myself that I might have left behind.

Thank you for this article. It is a very heavy read and I do not know if I agree with all of it -- but this is, at least, part of what it stirred in me.

---Albert

aways like your "stirrings" albert. merry christmas.

My eyes are beginning to bug a little bit as I read the entire article but.....I would have to read it several times (try infinity plus one lol)even with my background which was heavily enriched by psychological study...and I didn't get to process a lot of it.(the article) Sort of like reading about warp speed and worm holes and being so frustrated by a limited intelligence regarding my own depth of quantum or other physics.(make that minus 0)
As I read I was fascinated but also wondered how unlike any other form of brain washing it is (albeit without the Demerol)...Growing up in catholic boarding schools and some...NOT all ....had a perverse idea of what raising girls was all about..To crush the spirit and to rebuild to pliant, compliant people- sort of like modern day prescribed drugs....far easier to teach children who have first been zombized(if that's a word)
But there is a spirit far greater than the control of evil doers over the masses and that's the Divine love we all have inside us. No one has the monopoly on that as its a birthright to all humans.....(I know the former sounds like more 'new age' 'old age' isms) but is believed in sincerely.
I find it difficult as a parent to understand the mindset but in light of the evils in our world I have an open mind to it's existence.

I am still trying to understand the keywords of Alpha, Beta etc: I wonder how (or did I miss it?) he came up with the formulas to unlock the codes.....

It's such a complex subject and wonderful though disturbing to read of...and yet it happens in small scales with the Murdochian morphine drip of constant addicive TV that numbs brains and dulls the senses and people unloved and hurt who cling to a smile or a few words seen as love yet nothing more than psycho babble and a huge price to pay..... thanks for showing this side of a world that I knew existed but hadn't delved into.

I have to get in on this one because it mobilizes feelings of anger for me. Also, I have had some exposure to the matter because all attorneys have studied hypnosis and false memories in courses on evidence. I should also remark that I have been a client of a highly trained medical doctor who has used hypnosis in his practice, and I have the greatest respect for him and the work he does.

First of all, my thanks goes out to James Holder for posting a fascinating speech; and my thanks goes out to Albert for his brave and open recounting of difficult memories. Shame on parents who abuse their children!

However, there is no doubt that a group of irresponsible faux-therapist in the early 1990s actually abused their clients and nearly destroyed the diagnosis of MPD by using hypnosis to evoke false memories.

Very briefly: 1) MPD is real, but very, very rare; 2) child abuse is real, and the victims deserve compassionate and empathetic care; 3) there may be “cults” of child abusers, but they are vigorously pursued by law enforcement agencies, and they do not survive indefinitely; 4) most of the stories you hear about such cults are the product of delusions; 5) there are so-called psychotherapists who have capitalized upon such delusions, and have done despicable injury to their clients as a result.

Therapists who work with MPD must be very carefully trained. Only the most responsible and well qualified professionals should deal with this difficult syndrome. As one well-qualified psychotherapist who works with MPD clients once told me, “You can’t get classical enough!” This has become especially true ever since a “cult” of charlatans, who pretended to be therapists, hijacked the field in the 1990s.

There's a Wikipedia article that presents both sides,at:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_personality_controversy

Al, I too felt immobilized as i read your description of that moment in time, so far away and yet so immediate. And what came to my mind as I read how you didn't leave the wall was "Movement" and How important dance and movement are in your life now (or at least the bits of it I have seen you share on this site). 

And I do suspect each one of us can recount some story about a parental mistep, well intentioned but in the end misguided and harmful to the little ones without power that we used to be. 

Thinking of the woundings -- "for your own good".

John, thank you. This situation of recovered memory being misused by unscrupulous or misguided "therapists" casts a pall on therapy in general as well as on the specific theory, as it ihas been so often used on TV dramas showing some "therapist" who needs to be "caught out" and discredited by the gallant and more "rational" police or DA or whatever. It is used as yet another caricature of a profession, and leaves a bad impression in the minds of many watchers who are gullible and naive, and ready to judge negatively that which they have no experience of. Sort of the way massage therapists are generally portrayed as young blonde spacey New Age dimwits instead of as serious healers (not all of whom are blonde, young, or female).

Albert, dear Albert -- I am so glad that you Dance!!!

love, Scarlet

I give thanks for unknown blessings already on the way