Getting to Esalen

Hello all, I have just joined the group here after finding iThou while wondering what it's like to live at Esalen, which I am seriously considering doing myself. I invite you all to tell a story or two about how you got there in the first place. As someone so aptly said here, "some by accident, some on purpose."

I'd like to know more about your transitions -into- the place were. Emotional, physical, logistical. Who's been or is there now? You aren't all hippie-intellectuals, Silicon Valley dropouts and spacey massage therapists are you? ;-)

Do you live like monks in those shared rooms, those drafty old cabins? What to bring, what to leave (in boxes stored away in that other world)?

So far, I've read a lot about "what an amazing, life-changing" place it is. Surely at least a few of you are well-spoken enough to be a little more specific than that. How about a lot more specific?

I understand the freeing feeling that those from rather more repressive cultures may feel. I was born and raised in California, so I have perhaps a little less unlearning to do in some areas.

Essentially, I'm interested, a little bit intrigued, a little concerned about the drama and angst that seems endemic to long-established groups with disparate goals and opinions.

What's all the fuss about? Some of you sound a little shell-shocked after a few months on the cliffs and fog. I have experience in having to put my shell back on after beinf in softer, more supportive places. You've painted a pretty good picture of the after. What about the before and during, for those of us who have yet to arrive, or have only been for a few days?

Thanks, I look forward to hearing from you, and hope I have not stirred up a hornet's nest by asking.

Esalen Leaving_Esalen living at Esalen

Mover – October 3, 2007 – 10:04pm

Mover's blog – login to post comments – 554 reads – 4 loves

Hi Mover

I like your invitation. I am at loss giving you answers though as I believe it all depends on you and the time and the program you will be joining. I have been to Esalen many times and each time it was a different experience. It always depends on me. I have enjoyed workshops that others hated and hated workshops that others loved. I met the most amazing people I am still friends with after many years, and I have felt annoyed by roommates and people talking to me over lunch or in the tubs. For me still, Esalen is my home in the US and I now go there about once a month for a personal retreat. I hope with all the recent rumours that Esalen won't change much as I like it the way it is.

Monika

away – October 4, 2007 – 6:41pm

Thanks Monika

(and to the one who sent a private message)

The things I'm curious about I think are fairly universal, though obviously, the reaction to them is not.

The more I read on iThou and other places, and the more I think about it, the more the idea of living there appeals to me.

I'd still be interested in a few before and after stories, how did people end up going there, what sort of life-changing things happened? What were those changes?

Esalen sounds like a very diverse, sometimes intense buffet. It reminds me of an intense 2 week company project that was 2/7, they fed us. One wag on the second shift posed the question to us nearly every day, "How's the food?" ;-)

Mover – October 6, 2007 – 4:47pm

Life Lessons

Mover, there used to be a page tacked on the wall where you checked in, that read (in part) something like this: "You are about to enter a magical kingdom; you will meet heroes and dragons, knights, knaves and jesters. Be open, be wise, choose what you want and what you believe."

Life changing: quite a list. Received an inturtive reading that (and I'm super-rational) turned out, 25 years later to be absolutely accurate. Left an unhealthy relationship and took responsibilty for it to not happen again. Began a lifetime devotion to movement meditation. Fell in love. Made a cherished friend who became my partner in crime on other travels. Learned to respond, rather than react to group and interpersonal dynamics. Learned to welcome and hold more intensity and dissent in conversations.

You can discover or refine these kind of things elsewhere; however Esalen is built at one of the oldest known spiritual sites in North America and the natural setting supports all this work.

Kathleen C – October 7, 2007 – 5:30am

Give it up, Mover.

Who are you, anyway? What is really going on under that easy, anonymous facade of an interviewer?
What are your fears and expectations? What do you want from Esalen? What do you want from us?

John Francis Ca... – October 7, 2007 – 5:42am

Fishing

Maybe it is someone writing another book...What's a "wag" anyway?

What answer are you fishing for, Mover? If you put it out there, maybe someone can give it to you.

Kristy Bliss – October 7, 2007 – 6:44am

Maybe your right, Mindy.

Maybe Jeff's doing another book about the "real" Esalen. Hey, man. Just let us know! You're cool...

John Francis Ca... – October 7, 2007 – 6:58am

The Great and Powerful Oz

"Ignore the man behind the curtain!" Do you remember that scene? The Wizard of Oz used to play on TV on my birthday every year when I was growing up. I wished my dog was Toto and had to leave the room when the flying monkeys showed up. Later in my life I had a boyfriend who was a flying monkey...

Kristy Bliss – October 7, 2007 – 7:46am

We don't know

and I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt than ignoring them. What is missing for you John and Mindy? Mover might not have a picture but I can not recognize you on yours either. And I find it totally legitimate to ask question about what people's experience with Esalen has been. Sorry, just had to say that.

away – October 7, 2007 – 7:53am

No, I'm not writing a book

However amusing the idea is, I'm not.

I had a couple of thoughts yesterday (before reading these posts) :

- "Don't try to figure out all of it.", which I tend to do at times. I like to look before I leap, or at least peek over the edge a little. When I was younger, I leapt first a couple of times, and might have been better off if I'd had more information beforehand.

- "I wonder if there's a book about Esalen?"

I suppose there must be at least one, though with assistance from the group here, and my own thoughts simmering, I'm inclined not to look for it until after I've decided what I'll do.

Kathleen, Thanks for a densely-packed paragraph that speaks volumes, to my private correspondent regarding grubby clothes (why? I'm not a fashion victim, but don't plan on getting greasy, or working in the garden every day! ;-)

The issue driving my original post is simply this: I've known of Esalen for years, wanted to visit in one way or another, had a couple of close calls, and never made it there. Now there may be an appropriate confluence of work/time/money that will allow it to happen, hence my needing to address the choices inherent in such an event in practical terms, not just a "one of these days" dream.

Once all is settled, one way or the other; I'll more than likely pull the curtain.

Meanwhile, heartfelt thanks to all who have contributed to this thread. Special thanks to Albert for building this site.

I suppose, this page (and of course iThou) is a microcosm of Esalen itself; a collaborative effort, with intense, a little of the mess that almost always precludes the creation of something beautiful, and a healthy dose of all of that "personal growth stuff" that some of us find so magnetic.

A wag. One who makes mischievous, sometimes humorous observations.

Mover – October 7, 2007 – 10:51am

Books

Hi Mover,

There are several books on Esalen. I personally prefer "The Upward Spring". Check it our on Amazon or better: Buy it at a small bookstore.

Monika

away – October 7, 2007 – 11:28am

Thanks

If you'll check out a post I made recently, it was a leap I didn't take in my younger days that has haunted me for decades...Leap away! Leaps can be measured, of course. Perhaps a personal retreat day or two along with a massage appointment would allow you to sample an h'ors doevre of what Esalen is, was, can or will be. Check out their site for options that might be short term vs. "moving there".

Monika's regular visits are her fountain of youth and envigoration. For others it is a less regular pilgrimage that feeds them; for some Esalen was a period of their life and they feel no need to revisit the land to carry the spirit forth. I have never been to Esalen and yet have found some kindred spirit here. My connection is through a passion for Gestalt though it has all but fallen away from the spirit of Esalen for some folk and seems to have been a point of philosphical contention at one time...(please, readers, correct me if I'm wrong).

You have numerous options - weekend workshops, longer workshops, workstudy possiblities...I've seen them described in detail on the Esalen website. Then there is Kripal's book which many of us have held in hand in the past months. I'm sure there are other sources which may be of value.

One rabbi says that there are as many forms of Judaism as there are Jews. I would guess that the same could be said of Esalen, her current community and alumni.

We respond to you in good humor, Mover. You come to the site with different questions and experiences to offer, almost spy-like in your curiosity. You remind me a bit of my mother. While she has become quite loquacious in her current state of elderly grace (Just yesterday she said she was working on some choreography, although she has never danced to my knowledge and today gets around in a wheelchair.), she used to be full of questions, an interrogator if you will, with little to dish up in the way of reciprocation. It would be fun to know more about what prompts you to move now and what it is you seek. Perhaps Dorothy's insight when she awakens in her bed back in Kansas after her adventures in Oz will be yours...what she sought was no further than her own backyard.

Kristy Bliss – October 7, 2007 – 11:31am

Experience is always personal

Although I do appreciate your latest comment, Mindy I would like to say that my Esalen experience is not "a fountain of youth and envigoration". These are not concepts I live by. For me, it is a different experience every time, and each time I find something I need for my well-being. My experience has not aways been pleasant and positive. I have had times when I felt worse at Esalen or when leaving Esalen than when getting there. But I needed that too, I guess. I find it impossible to describe the experience of or for someone else, which why I recommend to Mover to just go and experience. And yes, I agree with Mindy - try it out maybe for a weekend workshop or a personal two day retreat before "moving there". Thank you, Monika

away – October 7, 2007 – 12:00pm

Message to Monika

I did not intend to characterize your visits. My point, like yours was intended to illustrate the unique experience and resource that Esalen is for each participant. Your clarification is lovely.

Kristy Bliss – October 7, 2007 – 12:04pm

Congratulations!

Mover-- (Hey, maybe that's your name!) You got us pumped up. Cool. Anyway, one of the problems I had (and I think I told you this) is that it's hard to respond without having any idea of what you are up to. For instance, it makes a big difference if you are just going to drop in for a 5 day workshop, or if you are going to do a workstudy, or if you want to become an extended student, or if you plan to apply for one of those new professional staff jobs up in Monterey. If you plan to attend a workstudy, then you will definitely want to take some grubby clothes, because you will be digging in the garden, or cleaning toilets, or pitching garbage out of the back of the kitchen. (I prefected my toilet cleaning skills at Esalen, since this subject was not covered on the Bar exam when I took it.) Anyway, you're welcome to stick around and gather intelligence. And it'll work better if you show us some of your marbles. Or not... Your choice.

John Francis Ca... – October 7, 2007 – 12:12pm

:-) Thank you all

I am feeling better now!!! Sorry for projecting!!! I am cleaning out my space today throwing away books that don't add value anymore and it seems to be a very emotional experience. Maybe that is why I reacted in the way I have.

Should have gone to African dancing to dance it out of my system:-)

away – October 7, 2007 – 12:17pm

my two cents....

mover

my two cents (not unlike some of the above) is that having been first a seminarian, then workscholar, then extended student, then the workstudy coordinator at esalen for a number of years i can assure you that no matter how much research or thought or sharing goes into the 'BEFORE' of spending time at esalen, the 'during' and 'after' is rarely what a person would have conjured up in advance. i have grown to deeply believe that at esalen, perhaps moreso than most other places, folks seem to get what they NEED much more than what they may WANT. there is a level of synchronicity at esalen that i don't find as potent or plentiful elsewhere in my life. i find esalen a phenomenal laboratory for growth and learning. my 'soul' found it quite a gift (my 'ego' perhaps a curse sometimes!) to be sharing such close quarters with other folks 'on a path', many of whom were open to exploring in much more authentic ways than i find in the world at large. some of the people i learned the most from are not those i keep on my 'can't wait to see again' list - they were the ones i had the most difficulty with. yet, paradoxically, i was blessed to learn much more about myself in relation to them.

if you do, indeed, go, i encourage you to show up w/o a lot of pre-conceived notions about it all. just show up, get out of your 'own way' (head/ego), 'trust the process' and surrender to the gifts each single moment gives, and see where that leads!

and i would enjoy hearing from you if you feel moved to post some about your journey here for us to follow! :-)

blessings to you. Dorothy

and to monika & mindy - i so appreciate y'all putting whatever your truth is 'out there' and then your willingness to come back, when you feel moved to do so, to 'own' things about parts of it that ......... well, y'all know what i mean, i hope! keep on putting ALL of who you authentically are 'out here'! it gives me more permission to do the same! love.

Dorothy T – October 7, 2007 – 2:29pm

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